My Heart is Hurting

Like most of the United States and American's around the world, I sat glued to the television yesterday, watching, like I did 11 years ago, the two planes hit the the Twin Towers in New York.  Again, like every I do every year, I cried.  The pain of what my country went through on that day is still vividly burned into my mind.  I don't need to watch it every year to remember.  I remember every day.  I watch it every year because it needs to be done.  I answer questions from a nine year old, who wasn't even alive when the attacks happened and whose Daddy was invading Iraq the day he was born.  I answer questions from a twelve year old who, although was just shy of two years old, (luckily) doesn't remember that day.  I remember.  I always will.  Yesterday, not only was it the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, but in between watching the twin towers fall, I saw people scaling a US Embassy in Cairo.  I saw that the US Consulate in Benghazi, Libya was being attacked.  I went to sleep thinking about the hundreds of American's being affected by these recent events.  I went to sleep with the news reporting one American had been killed.  This morning, when I woke up, I learned that actually four American's were killed.  FOUR AMERICANS WERE KILLED!  FOUR!  

As all of you know, this family of four just spent three long, but amazing, years overseas.  We were at a US Consulate in Milan, Italy and the US Embassy in Mexico City.  What happened yesterday, could have easily happened at any of the posts we were at.  People don't realize exactly what the Foreign Service does.  I know I didn't when I went overseas.  Heck, I didn't even know they existed.  But, now, I know people spread out all across this great big world.  I could pick any country on the map and pretty much guarantee that someone I know either just left there, is currently serving there, or will be serving there in the very near future.  There are families, like us in the military, separated for a year.  Sure, they get R&R and have easier access to communication than most of the Marines I know who are deployed, but it doesn't make it any easier.  These families are experiencing the same struggles we, as military families are experiencing.  They have kids graduating from high school and going off to college while they serve their country in a very dangerous place, far from home.  Mommies and Daddies are missing their baby going into Kindergarten.  My heart aches for them as much as it aches for my military family.  You know, before we went on 'the program,' I was part of this wonderful, amazing Marine Corps family.  Now, I am part of something bigger.  So many of my Foreign Service friends have become part of that family.  Damn, I am one lucky girl!  You know, the Foreign Service is a lot like the Military.  Not exactly the same, but similar.  They have to put down roots in a new country every two or three years.  They have to make new friends every two to three years.  They have to celebrate holidays thousands of miles away from home.  They make it work.  On holidays, they open their home to people who just arrived last week and are living in a hotel with 3 or 4 kids so they can give them just a little bit of normalcy and a little bit of home.  They open their home to Marines (like Brian) & colleagues who arrive days before Christmas or Thanskgiving or 4th of July or whatever other reason.  Brian arrived days before Christmas.  The kids and I were stuck in CA and he had Charley, and his two suitcases.  Sure, he could've eaten out in Mexico City.  But, you know what, he didn't.  There was an open door and a seat at a table waiting for him.  He didn't even know anybody yet.  This is how most of the Foreign Service is.  Sure, like any other places you have your 'different' ones, but you know what.  The good always outweighs the bad.

Chris Stevens, the US Ambassador to Libya was a career foreign service officer.  He died doing something he believed in which is much more than I can say for a lot of people I know.  He died serving his country.  I am sure I know someone who has worked with him.  I am sure that they are hurting.  Same for Sean Smith, the Information Management Officer that was killed in Libya.  I  am sure I know one, if not a few, people that know him.  They are hurting.  He has two children.  I haven't seen their ages, but they are known to be "young."  Their daddy isn't coming home.  My heart hurts for them.  But, you know, my heart doesn't just hurt for them.  It is hurting for the entire foreign service community - including every single agency that works inside those Embassy and Consulate walls.  When someone is wounded or killed, it rattles those walls to the core.  Wether you knew the person or not, your heart aches and you shed tears. And I can only say this because I know from personal experience.

I'm reading this post and it seems so jumbled.  So confused.  My heart hurts.  My head is spinning.  I keep thinking this could have been one of our posts.  If you are reading this and you are overseas for whatever reason - stay safe.  

We're HOME!

Well, The Macy Family has returned to California!!!

Kids came back to CA in June.  They couldn't hang around and wait for Mom & Dad, so on June 12th, while Brian was in Cabo San Lucas working the G20, my sweet friend Andrea drove the three of us to Benito Juarez Airport.  (I had a tendency to get lost every single time I drove to the airport, so it was for the best.)  We shipped them off with just a few tears (from Mom & Andrea) and no tears from the kids.  They couldn't wait to get back to Aunt Debbie and to being kids.  They had a summer visiting cousins and friends and being KIDS!  Which is something very difficult to do in Mexico.  No lemonade stands, so riding bikes and scooters, no walking up the street to see if a friend can play.  So, they deserved to be home.

Leaving Mexico was bittersweet.  It wasn't hard to leave Mexico City itself, but we left some amazing people.  Our family was so lucky to make friends with people that we will keep in touch with forever.  We are already planning trips!  It's hard to explain how difficult it was to live in Mexico City unless you have been there.  My Dad learned real quick why we were counting down the months to get back to the US.  If it weren't for our super close knit group of friends and some awesome co-workers, Mexico would have been horrible.

But, on to some exciting news!  Kids have started school!!!

Hard to believe that when we left California back in August of 2009, Kyleigh had just finished 3rd grade.  Now, she is in 7th!!!  I still can't believe I have a Middle Schooler (even if she is starting her 2nd year of middle school, I still can't believe it.)  She is kicking some serious butt, too!  She just got 100% on her first two math quizzes.  She is making friends - she never has been my shy one.  She is excited about starting horseback riding lessons and she has mentioned that she might be interested in checking out some swimming clubs.  We'll see what we find that she might be interested in.

Christopher had just finished Kindergarten when we left for Italy.  KINDERGARTEN!  Now, I have a 4th grader.  I remember 4th grade like it was yesterday - now, my BABY is in 4th grade.  It has done my heart good to hear him come home from school happy again.  Many of you know how hard the last six months in Mexico were for him - and for me.  It took everything in my power to get him to June.  School was neither a happy or a safe place for him.  Now, he is doing GREAT!  He is happy again.  He comes home from school smiling.  He is playing football (tackle!) and he is LOVING it.  He checks every day for new bruises.  LOL

Maybe the next post, I'll be a little more prepared and have some pictures to put up.  I just figured I would sit down and write - something.  I have really been wanting to start blogging again.  It's been six months since my last post, and now with all of these good (& exciting) things happening, I want to share it!  We are excited to do all sorts of fun things that we did before we left like Bates Nut Farm...and other things we haven't done - ever - like San Francisco!

Keep an eye out for more blogging!  I'm hoping to AT LEAST get one a week in - maybe I can squeeze some time in and get a couple in some days.