Top 25 things I've learned while driving in Italy

1. There are no laws or "rules of the road".
2. If there are laws or "rules of the road" there is no reason to follow them.
3. If you try to follow some type of laws or "rules of the road", you WILL get honked at.
4. If one car honks, every.other.car feels the need to honk
5. Nobody ever knows what they are honking at.
6. If you don't move immediately when the light turns green or slightly before it turns green, you WILL be honked at.
7. If there is traffic and nobody can go anywhere, there WILL be honking.
8. It's OK to double park...anywhere!
9. It's OK to park on the sidewalk.
10. In fact, it's OK to drive on the sidewalk, especially if you are a motorini.
11. Everyone but you has the right of way.
12. The faster the better.
13. If you drive a motorini (scooter/vespa/whatever you want to call it), you must be able to put your bags at your feet, hold your cell phone with your helmet and smoke a cigarette.
14. Bicyclists think they own the road too.
15. Bicyclists think they own the sidewalk.
16. It IS possible to ride a bike, smoke a cigarette, talk on the phone, hold an umbrella, all with a broken arm.
17. Yes, as a matter of fact, you can also carry an ironing board while riding a bike.
18. You can ride a bike with a child in front and a child in back and a child running next to you.
19. One way streets are only suggestions.
20. Heck, lanes are only suggestions.
21. When driving on the freeway, you should ALWAYS drive in two lanes...at least part of the way.
22. Parking for anything other than a smart car is impossible to find.
23. When parallel parking, it's OK to bump the car in front of you and behind you, until you get your car in.
24. Pedestrians NEVER have the right of way.  OK, sometimes if you have small children you do, but don't hold your breath.
25. Street signs can be of no help.  Streets either change names in the middle of the block or the street signs point to the same place in two opposite directions.